As I told you recently, I have gone back to school. I have many feelings about this; fear, elation, and stress being some of them. Juggling the house, kids and family with work and now school, I have had more than my fair share of bashing my head against the wall moments. I have just started week 5 of my classes and although it’s embarrassing to admit it, last night I completely broke down.
I have realized that I am a perfectionist when it comes to my schoolwork. My goal is to have no less than a 95% at all times. I have succeeded so far. Any marks off that I have received thus far have resulted from not indenting one paragraph in my first assignment of the class, not posting enough discussion question responses during week two, and using contractions in an assignment during week two. I’ve handled things really well until this week.
My work schedule just changed so that I am now working 12-hour shifts three days in a row. I work from 6pm – 6am. I have had a hard time getting my internal clock to follow my directions. I work, come home, try to do something for a couple hours, then crash. I end up sleeping all day then get up and get ready for work. I basically don’t see my family for those three days. But, on the upside of that, I have four awesome days off to do whatever I want with my family.
Last Friday I came home from work in the morning, and immediately jumped online to do my assignment that was due by midnight Friday night. I spent 1 1/2 hours on this assignment and was so brain dead by the time it was over. After posting it to my school website I went to bed. Last night I pulled up my school website and found a message from my instructor. Sunday night is the end of our school week and the instructor goes through and starts posting grades and such.
The message from my instructor said that she didn’t receive my assignment that was due and reminded me that every day an assignment is late I automatically lose 10%. I flipped. I checked back to my message that I posted with my assignment.
It wasn’t there.
The message was, but the attachment that held my assignment was not. I quickly scanned my school folder I have saved on my desktop and found the assignment that I saved Friday morning at 8:37am. I posted the message online at 8:39am.
I didn’t attach my freaking assignment.
At that moment I burst into tears. Will wanted to know what was wrong and I felt like such a boob for crying. It frustrated me beyond words that I worked so hard on that paper, even though I was sleep deprived and ended up not even attaching it. I mean, if I had known that I was automatically going to be docked points I would have just gone to sleep when I got home and done the paper Sunday or something. Argh!!!
I have no clue what this is going to do to my grade. Now I have to work extra hard to make up for whatever it is that is going to be lost.
Note to self: Sleep is essential!!!
Ah, Tiff….it’s ok. You are really and truly being WAY too hard on yourself. Did you try and discuss it with the instructor? Computer glich perhaps??? I know how you feel, it’s going to be ok though. At least you checked right away?? It could have been so much worse had you waited a few days. Big hugs, love you!